I miss my best friend so much. Shes so lovely. And I loathe that i never realised how similar we are, before. We met in high school in about year 8, and we've grown up together, but not only that, we've grown together really. like, intertwined. EVen though we don't dress the same or necessariy like the same music, all the important things are in sync. We love each other and i miss her so much!!!! I spoke to her tonight on an instant messaging thing, and I really really want her to be here right now. I want to be drinking cosmopolitans with her, all dressed up in a pretentious bar in london.
God. Uni is amazing, but I'm not really that close with my mates yet. It's still a bit... like, explain what you mean sort of friendship, not like, thinking the same thing simulaeously friendship.
And as my housemate Mr R pointed out so very kindly, me and my boyfriend are more like fuckbuddies.
Thankyou so much Mr R.
I suppose I just miss being extremely close with someone. I miss my best friend.

hmm... goodness knows what's happening about Miss R then...

So, as of yesterday, I am the girlfriend of Mr Boy. Yes, that's right, after everything he said about probably not being ready for a relationship for a very long time, well, apparently he was just scared.

!!!!!

So now he's my boyfriend!!
Although conversely my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend today...so not all is well in the land of love.
Also, when do I tell her that I've recently just got with someone when she's broken hearted?
Men can be bastards. I suppose that's what distance will do to a relationship though.
My poor poor Miss B.
I'm so so tired. But I can't go to bed until my photos have finished uploading onto facebook. Bastard upload thinger.
I went shopping for the first time the other day - my it was complicated! Food shopping is nothing at all like clothes shopping. Absolutely knackering. And some things are so difficult to find! For example, noodles, which come from asia, are with pasta - clearly an italian food product. Goodness me.
I like having a boyfriend. I don't just mean having one in general, I mean, specifically, I'm glad that Mr Boy is my boyfriend. Relationships are scary, but I do feel more secure now. Less bothered when he doesn't reply to a text or whatever. And he said he wrote me a letter. So hopefully it's full of nice and charming things.
Ooh, the upload has finished. And I'm not certain that sex and the city will be ready to stream any time soon... So perhaps it's time to retire to bedfordshire, yars?

Things are no longer well on the boy front. Hmm... that lasted a long time. This is really the sort of thing I'd prefer to write in my journal, but my friend's popping in and out of my room and I think it looks a bit strange to be writing things down. So I've settled for typing instead.
Plus this way I can paste what the boy wrote instead of copying it out. So, we're talking on instant messenger, and everything was fine. Then all of a sudden a big pause. Then...

i am not really here sorry am having an upsetting conversation

it's with miss R. hence why upsetting. have i talked about Miss R?

The answer to that question is yes. He has talked about Miss R. He hasn't said alot, but what he has said basically amounts to, she's the love of his life, and hurt him an incredible amount and he's not over her.
That's a lovely thing to hear him talking about. Considering I slept with him last week. Not even a week actually. Today's Sunday, which makes it 3 days.
Nice.
I understand if he has issues with her. I dunno, I just with I knew all of it or none of it, you know? Maybe he's just trying to spare me some hurt. I don't know.
I can't blame him either because I knew what I was getting into when I got involved with him. He completely prepared me for all of this. Well, not completely, but he said it wouldn't be easy and he's not ready for alot of things.
I don't know, I do really like him. And I think he still likes me. It just sort of feels like she casts this enormously huge shadow and I can't get out from underneath it. God, I'm totally Miss Rebound. How awful.
Oh well, I suppose it has to be someone. And I do like him, and I am enjoying his company. Maybe being his rebound isn't such a terrible thing? Would Germaine Greer shoot me for saying that? Am I a disgrace to the post feminist female?
Honestly, it's such a myriad quagmire. I feel like I'm getting quite bogged down in over thinking.
My friend K logged on to facebook and looked up 'Miss R; and we looked at her photos, and I'm pleased to report that while not hideously unfortunate looking, she's not the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, which shouldn't make me feel better, but obviously does. I'm not that big a person.
So... who knows where this is taking me. Maybe mr boy will decide that he can't handle it. I think I'll just give him space and let him know I'm here if he wants me.
Over and out.

Again I am happy on the boy front. Me and mr boy slept together! And I get the impression from him that that means commitment, so... that has to be a good thing. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.
I don't think I would want it to be much more intense at this point - we see each other a couple of times a week, maybe 3. He often asks what I want from him. I never know how to answer that question. How do you tell someone what you want from them? All I want to do is spend time with him. It isn't a business transaction.
I don't know why he asks me things like that.
I like the way he looks at me.
I'm smiling a little smile.

ARghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooooooo happy!!!!!!! I stayed at boy's house yesterday and we're so so good!! I mean, not official obv, but everything's just really really good and I'm happy. We had yummy naked time. hurrah!! I think we understand each other more now. Had a big chat. We were going to stay holed up in his room for the whole day but he had to take his dickhead flatmate to hospital.
and he bought me a toothbrush to keep at his!!! :D and he didn't want me to leave but he had to go. And he kept saying I was beautiful and sexy.
and he didn't believe the bollocks his housemates told him which is good. because i do NOT in any way depend on him. It's just nice to hang out with him that's all.
hurray hurrah.
and now i get to read the guardian weekend which now features STEVEN FRY!!!!!!

oh, and boys are crap and believe stupid things about you. but they're ok sometimes.

oh god oh god. halloween was not good. lost bags, passing out and trips in police vans.
alcohol is bad, kids.