I feel so frustrated. And not that way. Creatively. Or maybe, I'm not sure. I don't feel like I have the energy to be creative, but I'm desperate to be. And I spent money trying to encourage it. I spent a few hundred quid on new camera stuff a few months ago, and I've barely touched it.
I don't know.
I need to express myself somehow, because I can't talk to anybody. Maybe I'm making a big deal of nothing. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time.
I'm watching Laputa Castle in the Sky. It just came yesterday in the post. I'm watching it dubbed, because I can't be bothered to follow the subtitles. Because I've got other windows open on the computer. But it makes me feel like I'm cheating, viewing it in a way other than it was envisaged. Studio Ghibli music is familiar and comforting.
Another maddening thing is that I really miss my friend who's away. And I have this horrible niggling feeling that won't go away, that I like him. And.... more than in the way I should. I keep pushing the feeling away though. I love it when anime characters are startled, and their hair stands on end. It's fantastic :)


Ugh. I don't know. I miss him alot. But I'm not sure whether I miss him for him, or whether I miss him for what he does for me. Is that bad? I can't tell. Like.... I don't talk to him about things. But I feel like if I wanted to, I could, and it wouldn't be awful, like it can be with some people. And he's so easy to be with. We don't have to be talking, or watching anything, or anywhere cool. We can just be. Oh, I really hope I'm not getting feelings for him again. It could go nowhere good. Really, he's the whole reason I first began watching anime films at all. Ugh. I'm so unoriginal. It's terrible, really.
On the upside, he's back in....5 days. So I've made it alot more than halfway. I can't even believe I'm talking about him like this.
At least, today, I like my hair cut more. Maybe it won't be a bad thing.