I'm scared I might be losing my mind. My boyfriend's asleep, lying beside me. He's beautiful. He actually resembles a Raphaelian angel in some lights. I really am punching above my weight with this one. I'm getting a bed to take to uni. It's a futon. It looks really lovely. 

What if I go crazy? Will my boyfriend love me? Or will I technically not be the same person, so he's allowed to not love be because I'm different. His arm's curled protectively round my waste as I type, laptop resting on the knees of my crossed legs. But he can't stop my mind imploding. I want so much to curl up in his safe warmth, but when he isn't conscious, it's like it isn't him I'm cuddled up to. I don't know. It makes me feel more alone. And that makes my head worse. How do you fix that?

No weed was brought. It's a shame, because I could do with muddling my thinking a bit. Although maybe it's good. Perhaps weed isn't good for a fucked up head.