oh! and we have a house :)

feeling positive :)

So, after all the fretting, the wondering and the woe, me and the Boy are no longer Me and Mr Boy. He decided that the age difference (small but problematic nonetheless) means that we are looking for different things in this world, and that the timing is unfortunate.
It was a very mature way to end the relationship, I must say, but we all have to grow up eventually.
I am now the proud owner of a vibrator!! I know, how exciting. Me and my best friend and her sister all went into town to purchase them, after some lovely lovely cocktails in our most frequented bar. It's all very exciting. Perhaps being single again will not be so bad.
It's also not that bad, because now me and the boy are no more, he is being much more friendly and affectionate, which is enjoyable because I do like him very much as a person, not just as a boyfriend. So hopefully a new path has been forged for us. I remain optimistic about this.
Being at home has also helped my head I think, 1) getting away from the boy, 2) seeing the best friend lots and 3) not having to pay for anything and getting home cooked meals and laundry done et cetera.
Hurrah for feeling positive and enjoying life, with all its twists and turns.

boobs

Oh my god. My housemate actually just said to me: if you had your boobs and you were thin, you'd be really hot.

Cheers, mate. Thanks so much.

I hate boys.

house hunting

Househunting is stressful. It doesn't help when one of your housemates is whinging and hypothesising about leaving uni. Idiot. Cut us some slack will you??

I am feeling alot less wasted on the day now.

Mr Leon who lives opposite me is playing his terrible music.

I am reading an exquisitely written blog.

I can hear Craig who lives next to me laughing at a dvd a just lent him.

All these things make me very happy, and content that the world is as it should be.

I can't help but feel that I'm wasted on today. My makeup is really really good (incidentally I'm not exaggerating, I'm just making the point that my makeup is unusually flawless considering it is I who has applied it). 

Also, my hair is quite nice too. No stupid kinks, silky but not greasy. Not too try hard. Just nice.

And do you know what I'm doing with this (relative) perfection? I'm seated at my desk, procrastinating. I have revision to do and am not keen you see. All my housemates are out, househunting for next year, and my two best friends are having cosy time with their respective boyfriends.

Where is my boyfriend? Dropped off the face of the earth perhaps?

So, I will continue to read Belle de Jour and envy her prose; I will continue to read the guardian weekend magazine; I will continue to look good for nobody other than yours truly.

makeup and medicine

Oh hurrah! I have new foundation. The last one made me look a little jaundiced - yes that is a nice way of saying yellow. Being someone who is unwilling to throw perfectly good things away, I kept with the foundation, but I'm very relieved that the new bottle hasn't had the same effect.

Another new purchase was a lovely stripy rainbow umbrella. But the first time I took it out, it broke. So today I returned to Accessorize to return it. Full refund - hurray!! I wouldn't have bothered, but it set me back £15!!! That's extortion in anyone's book. For that sum I would at least like to have a functioning brolly!! 

So, I got a refund, and then went to Woolies and got myself a much nicer one, decorated with butterflies and beads, for half the price!! Who needs Monsoon and their overpriced and faulty goods?

Argh. Am not feeling well at all though. Since about Friday really. Really tired and grumpy, with a horrible sore throat that grates when I cough, which is often, and loudly, and body shaking. Ugh. Have been moping in pyjamas and a blanket most of the time.

I wish Mr Boy would come over and look after me. But that's just me being a pathetic girl. Ag. Still, I will allow myself a little wallow, and a little wish that he was here, stroking my hair and feeding me oranges...

Ho hum :)

Just Lemsip for me then (gag).

melancholy (the noun not the adjective)

It's far too hot in the house. I've just come from my best friend B's house, which was considerably cooler. I feel quite uncomfortable.
I also feel quite teary. I'm going to miss my best mate so much when she goes travelling (in three months). I'm so jealous of everything about her. Not in a mean way. I wouldn't want to take it from her. But I wish I was as good at everything. She's so beautiful. I mean, way gorgeous. She's the kind of girl that all guys see and their jaw hangs off. I mean, completely stunning. And she's petite as well, beautiful 6/8 figure. That's UK sizes. She's a US 2/4. And she fitted a size zero dress from donna karen earlier in the year. Basically, she's the girl you want to look like. *sigh* and it doesnt' help that I'm alot bigger than her, and also just generally less attractive.
Plus she's really really clever. She got a million A*s at GCSE (ok, who didn't?) but she also got 4 As at A level. And she's going travelling to south america and she's working at this uber cool cafe in manchester to pay for it, and she's got amazing fashion sense, and a million expensive clothes that she looks like a model in. After she goes travelling she's going to uni in london. To King's College. Basically, she's going to have the best life ever.
I'm so jealous of the London thing. I was supposed to go to UCL in London. But then I got a B in English instead of an A, so I couldn't. It was the worst day of my life. Actually. I'm still really really gutted about it. I regret it completely. But there's nothing I can do now.
It's jsut really got me down today. I cant' stop thinking about it.
God, I'm actually welling. That's so stupid. Anyway, basically, I just really adore my best friend, and she's everything I would love to be. But can't.
And I'm really going to miss her when she goes. But I know she'll have the best time. :) Cheers for B.

friends

I do love to meet new people. My friend's boyfriend, for example, is completely lovely. I am upset that I didn't get to spend the New Year with them, but it's worked out ok. We're having a lovely takeaway for breakfast, and we're watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
I think friends can make anything better, really. And everything looks better in the morning. Even sick stained previous evenings.

Ok. Now I'm really tired. I'm watching House on youtube and reading belle de jour's blog. I'm not sure why i don't want to sleep. It's weird. Everyone else is now. Apart from the cats. Hmm.
My best friend Miss B looks absolutely wrecked. Bless her. she's on the sofa, with her head at a right angle to her body (that's going to hurt in the morning) and her clothes and makeup still on, clutching a very furry cushion.
Hmm. I think I'll read a bit more belle de jour...

My none vomiting friends have returned and are now eating toast and eggs. It is very lovely. They brought poppers back with them. Even lovlier.
I'm quite tired, but not too tired. Not tired enough to sleep on a sofa anyway. And definitely not in a damp-from-cleaning-up-puke bed.
sigh.
this year has not had a promising start.

new year

Why is New Years always terrible? I can't remember having a good New Year's Eve. This evening, for me, was spent propping my friend up, paying through the nose for a taxi, pulling her up the stairs and then mopping up her sick. It was absolutely disgusting. And I was home by 10:10pm. Awful by anyone's standards.
Last year wasn't much different. Different place, different friend puking, but I still had to mop up vomit and was home before midnight. Although last year I had a boyfriend who loved me and we had quite a sweet evening together; this year I've been sat in my friend's sister's flat with her two cats while she's away in Thailand.
The year before I actually didn't do anything. I was invited to a few places but was quite depressed at that stage so I didnt feel like doing anything. So I sat at home. And pretended that I was at a party when anyone called to wish me happy new year.
I cant' even remember the year before. I was probably at a house party, smashed and high.
New years? Always a total let down.
I really hate it when people can't handle their alcohol. I mean, I have had my fair share of horror stories - the time I got lost and fell asleep on the pavement after crying my eyes out and shredding my feet on the pavemen and then was picked up by the police; millions of times when I've passed out. But I am hardly ever sick. I've been drinking since I was 15 (that's 4 years) and I've only ever been sick twice. And I can usually look after myself.
But some of my friends are sick alot. And I really hate having to be responsible for them. Every person should be responsible for themselves.
Although you do have to look out for people I suppose. I just resent having to look after people that's all. I'm not maternal. At all.
AND I hate that my boyfriend texts my friend Miss K (the one who was sick tonight) more than me. I hate that he has dreams about cuddling her in bed. Argh. She is gorgeous though. And I suppose I can't blame him for fancying her. It doesn't bother me too much, and I'm not that jealous. Actually, I'm not jealous at all. It just annoys me. But I'm a very angry person.
God I was so annoyed about tonight. How childish. I should try to be a nicer person. I really am quite horrible. Cant' help it I suppose...
I'll have to go out with my best friend before I go back to uni and ring in the New Year a bit late. I'm going to kill Miss K.