I’m laid in bed wearing the coolest outfit. It isn’t even that dazzlingly brilliant. I just really love it. It’s a t shirt that belongs to my boyfriend. White with a piano that's split in half at the bottom, and from it shoot lots of whirls and laces of colour. A black skirt which is a bit puffbally, navy three quarter sleeve cardigan with gold heart buttons. A big chunky necklace that sort of looks lik it’s mad of marbles. My tights are thick, and a little bit textured, I think, and this beautiful deep sort of dusty yellow. And I have yellow tiny roses in my ears.
My t shirt smells of my boyfriend ☺
I’m watching American Beauty. It’s such a great film. I have my fairy lights on; they’re arranged around my bed, with my photographs. I really love my room.
I might draw a picture of an oyster catcher for my boyfriend.
The music to this film really is fantastic. Hmm… tomorrow I think I will wear…my cardigan with the cherries on. And some pretty underwear ☺
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
bad day.
Today is so rubbishy. I was in quite a good mood, but then I vomited (probably all the weed) and then had to wait on a train platform in the freeeeezing cold.
I've just been feeling really shitty anyway, and I went to get a chocolate bar from the vendor, and it said E10 for an Aero. So I put my money in, (50p by the way! Extortion!) and so I pressed E, then the 1 for the ten. But then I saw that there was actually a number 10 button all of its own.
So I looked at the case where E1 was, and there was sweet FA.
So, ladies and gents, I just spent FIFTY PENCE on NOTHING.
So I still feel faint. Joy.
I've just been feeling really shitty anyway, and I went to get a chocolate bar from the vendor, and it said E10 for an Aero. So I put my money in, (50p by the way! Extortion!) and so I pressed E, then the 1 for the ten. But then I saw that there was actually a number 10 button all of its own.
So I looked at the case where E1 was, and there was sweet FA.
So, ladies and gents, I just spent FIFTY PENCE on NOTHING.
So I still feel faint. Joy.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
I posted this on 30th November 2007:
I miss my best friend so much. Shes so lovely. And I loathe that i never realised how similar we are, before. We met in high school in about year 8, and we've grown up together, but not only that, we've grown together really. like, intertwined. EVen though we don't dress the same or necessariy like the same music, all the important things are in sync. We love each other and i miss her so much!!!! I spoke to her tonight on an instant messaging thing, and I really really want her to be here right now. I want to be drinking cosmopolitans with her, all dressed up in a pretentious bar in london.
God. Uni is amazing, but I'm not really that close with my mates yet. It's still a bit... like, explain what you mean sort of friendship, not like, thinking the same thing simulaeously friendship.
And as my housemate Mr R pointed out so very kindly, me and my boyfriend are more like fuckbuddies.
Thankyou so much Mr R.
I suppose I just miss being extremely close with someone. I miss my best friend.
Now I miss her because she isn't here anymore. I'm still at uni (well, I'm at home this weekend), and I still miss her. But it's so much worse now.
It scares me that I don't cry every day. And I hate that people sort of...forget. And I can't stand it when people get upset about death or grief, even though they have every right, and should be upset if they need to be. I hate it because I feel like I need it more. I feel like I knew the best person in the world, and now I don't have her anymore. So why the fuck should they be allowed to be upset?
I hate it. I hate what I wrote about us thinking the same thing simultaneously. Because now where does that leave me? It's like I'm a jigsaw with a bit missing. I always want to turn around and just give her a look, because she would know exactly what it meant and who I was referring to. We could almost telepathically bitch about people.
And no one gets it. And I hate anyone who pretends to.
So apparently grief fills you with hate for the whole world.
I miss my best friend so much. Shes so lovely. And I loathe that i never realised how similar we are, before. We met in high school in about year 8, and we've grown up together, but not only that, we've grown together really. like, intertwined. EVen though we don't dress the same or necessariy like the same music, all the important things are in sync. We love each other and i miss her so much!!!! I spoke to her tonight on an instant messaging thing, and I really really want her to be here right now. I want to be drinking cosmopolitans with her, all dressed up in a pretentious bar in london.
God. Uni is amazing, but I'm not really that close with my mates yet. It's still a bit... like, explain what you mean sort of friendship, not like, thinking the same thing simulaeously friendship.
And as my housemate Mr R pointed out so very kindly, me and my boyfriend are more like fuckbuddies.
Thankyou so much Mr R.
I suppose I just miss being extremely close with someone. I miss my best friend.
Now I miss her because she isn't here anymore. I'm still at uni (well, I'm at home this weekend), and I still miss her. But it's so much worse now.
It scares me that I don't cry every day. And I hate that people sort of...forget. And I can't stand it when people get upset about death or grief, even though they have every right, and should be upset if they need to be. I hate it because I feel like I need it more. I feel like I knew the best person in the world, and now I don't have her anymore. So why the fuck should they be allowed to be upset?
I hate it. I hate what I wrote about us thinking the same thing simultaneously. Because now where does that leave me? It's like I'm a jigsaw with a bit missing. I always want to turn around and just give her a look, because she would know exactly what it meant and who I was referring to. We could almost telepathically bitch about people.
And no one gets it. And I hate anyone who pretends to.
So apparently grief fills you with hate for the whole world.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Barack Obama won the presidential election at 6am this morning. Thank God :)
I'm going home tomorrow to see my boy.
All my exams are finished now (apart from one which won't be for two weeks).
AND I'm getting my hair cut on friday!
Everything is nice. Except my cat has had all her teeth taken out :(
Let's stay happy, world.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
ebay shoes and boys :)
I am not single anymore. Boyfriend who is now boyfriend again made a U turn. and my FIT ebay trainers arrived! Although because i'm incompetent I had them posted to my home address. So I suppose it's a good job I'm going home!!! At the weekend. To see the boy. Lovely lovely lovely :) I know I'm a doormat, and I have incurred the wrath of my friend for it. But I love him. And as long as everything is happy, I'm ok. So yus! I win. :)
Sunday, November 02, 2008
i would like a red ribbon to tie in my hair
It makes me sad when the boy I'm in love with says we can't be together anymore because he can't handle me being at uni.
It makes me compulsively ebay, and watch huge amounts of mememolly videos.
I love Brett Easton Ellis. And Animal Collective. I like things that remind me of him, but they do sort of shoot bullets through me.
I can't wait until these completely amazing trainers get posted to me. Ditto the cute black pinafore.
I might stop eating.
It makes me compulsively ebay, and watch huge amounts of mememolly videos.
I love Brett Easton Ellis. And Animal Collective. I like things that remind me of him, but they do sort of shoot bullets through me.
I can't wait until these completely amazing trainers get posted to me. Ditto the cute black pinafore.
I might stop eating.
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