oh lord. i ran into an ex tonight. at a mate's party. see, unfortunately and regrettably and all that, he's a year younger. and let's call him j. and my best mate and her little sis held the party and he was here. and i'm still here. and it's awful. he was watching me all night, and i remember that we used to vow to each other that we'd look after each other alway6s and stuff. and it's awful. i'm terrible.
mind you, he probably got off lucky, i'm so gross and disgusting. i'm ugly and i'm fat and im' horrible. he's probably been sat there thinking thank god i didn't end up with her. she makes me want to vomit.
i hate jmyself so m;uch. wihs i could put a knife to jmy skin and forget it all.
but i'm still at miss best mate's house. sob.
in the morning then.
sob.
i hhat eme.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
the morning after
completely hungover today. ag.
brilliant night out last night. cant' wait for new years. am paying for it tenfold. feet killing me. haha, got some brilliant pictures. I was out in wigan for boxing day, and the ENTIRE town was dressed up. I even saw one guy dressed as a whoopee cushion!! It was fantastic.
benazir bhuto was assassinated today and then the guy blew himself up. it's absolutely awful. the world's such a terrible place.
mischa barton was arrested for having pot and being drunk while driving.
i do despair of the world.
why isn't pete doherty in prison yet?
brilliant night out last night. cant' wait for new years. am paying for it tenfold. feet killing me. haha, got some brilliant pictures. I was out in wigan for boxing day, and the ENTIRE town was dressed up. I even saw one guy dressed as a whoopee cushion!! It was fantastic.
benazir bhuto was assassinated today and then the guy blew himself up. it's absolutely awful. the world's such a terrible place.
mischa barton was arrested for having pot and being drunk while driving.
i do despair of the world.
why isn't pete doherty in prison yet?
Saturday, December 22, 2007
boredom and hamsters
I'm babysitting for my niece, nephew and their three friends. needless to say i'm really quite bored.
i'm facebooking (which, by the way has been entered into the collins english dictionary for 2008, as both a noun and a verb) and reading the guardian weekend magazine, and texting my friends. but it's still only half past eight. i feel like it's going to be a very long night.
...
it's twenty past nine now. i'm watching lead balloon. hot fuzz died. thankfully. just as it should have at the box office.
I think I really miss Tom. I can't wait to see him (I'm home for the Christmas Holidays) and so I haven't seen him for 2 weeks.
But it hasnt' been really bad. Absense makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
I met up with Miss K from uni on Thursday. It was really fun to see her again. I do miss her when i'm not living with her! I've been working a bit as well, so I've got just over £100. And today I've been driving round paying visits to people. And tomorrow I'm going to the cinema to watch St Trinians - oooh Russell Brand, Lily Cole, Colin Firth, Rupert Everett !! - and then my friend's having a party tomorrow evening. Hurrah!
Argh. Bored.
Kill me?
i'm facebooking (which, by the way has been entered into the collins english dictionary for 2008, as both a noun and a verb) and reading the guardian weekend magazine, and texting my friends. but it's still only half past eight. i feel like it's going to be a very long night.
...
it's twenty past nine now. i'm watching lead balloon. hot fuzz died. thankfully. just as it should have at the box office.
I think I really miss Tom. I can't wait to see him (I'm home for the Christmas Holidays) and so I haven't seen him for 2 weeks.
But it hasnt' been really bad. Absense makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
I met up with Miss K from uni on Thursday. It was really fun to see her again. I do miss her when i'm not living with her! I've been working a bit as well, so I've got just over £100. And today I've been driving round paying visits to people. And tomorrow I'm going to the cinema to watch St Trinians - oooh Russell Brand, Lily Cole, Colin Firth, Rupert Everett !! - and then my friend's having a party tomorrow evening. Hurrah!
Argh. Bored.
Kill me?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
I have a blister on my toe.
I've never had a blister on my toe before. It isn't as bad as a blister on the heel, but it still isn't great. Not happy. Other than that my new shoes are actually extremely comfy. Impressed much.
Today has been the worst day ever. Even worse than the day after halloween when I was brought home in a police van. It's been hellish. I was hungover to start with, which I never am. I didn't recover till about 5pm. I had to get up at half nine for a lecture, I had an exam, and the lecture was on stats. I was soooo not in the mood for that. Then I had food at Yates' which I thought would make me feel better but just made me want to be sick.
Then I staggered to another class where ihad to make a speech, and i just wanted to die. I kept falling into a daze and swaying. Then my face went tingly and I thought it was going to fall off. Not good.
Then my boyfriend text me saying 'do you remember what you said last night?' which I didn't. I do remember calling him as I was walking home, but I don't remember what i said. And he said I upset him and he thought I was going to break up with him. Which is... well. Pretty bad. It's good that he was upset at the thought, but what if I've trashed our relationship before we've been together a month?
hmm... well, I'll keep posting on the progress. But yeah, basically it was terribile today. AND I lost ANOTHER eyeliner. Damn makeup stealing pixies.
Not a happy bunny.
I've never had a blister on my toe before. It isn't as bad as a blister on the heel, but it still isn't great. Not happy. Other than that my new shoes are actually extremely comfy. Impressed much.
Today has been the worst day ever. Even worse than the day after halloween when I was brought home in a police van. It's been hellish. I was hungover to start with, which I never am. I didn't recover till about 5pm. I had to get up at half nine for a lecture, I had an exam, and the lecture was on stats. I was soooo not in the mood for that. Then I had food at Yates' which I thought would make me feel better but just made me want to be sick.
Then I staggered to another class where ihad to make a speech, and i just wanted to die. I kept falling into a daze and swaying. Then my face went tingly and I thought it was going to fall off. Not good.
Then my boyfriend text me saying 'do you remember what you said last night?' which I didn't. I do remember calling him as I was walking home, but I don't remember what i said. And he said I upset him and he thought I was going to break up with him. Which is... well. Pretty bad. It's good that he was upset at the thought, but what if I've trashed our relationship before we've been together a month?
hmm... well, I'll keep posting on the progress. But yeah, basically it was terribile today. AND I lost ANOTHER eyeliner. Damn makeup stealing pixies.
Not a happy bunny.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Good Lord! Last night, I broke my bed.
I had a wonderful day yesterday. It started off pretty poorly. I had a lie in (good) but then I checked my uni emails and found one saying that I hadn't submitted my assignment. So I had to trekk to college (in the rain, of course) and sort that out.
Plus the day before had been extremely bad. I was in a sort of depressed bubble all day.
Anyway, it gets better from here. Fortunately I managed to get all my reading done in my lecture, which was marv. Then after that me and two mates Miss K and Miss K went shopping. I hit topshop and found the most beautiful pair of shoes.
They're red and leather with a beautiful strap and they have pretty round toes. Exquisite.
Then I had a thorntons chocolate bar (oh yes, sicilien lemon mousse) which is one of the ones which are derived from a posh chocolate and then just stuck together to make a bar. mmm mmmmmm. And I also got pretty knickers. Not from thorntons, from topshop :)
Then we came home. Ag. It was just awful. It rained like no precipitation has ever fallen before. It was like a scene out of the day after tomorrow. it was absolutely horrendous. Miss K (the one i live with) had mascara streaked all down her face, poor thing. And I looked pretty horrendous, with my hair blown back in a strange wet matted beehive.
We sang bohemian rhapsody very poorly and incorrectly to cheer our spirits. Then we had to dash in to our rooms before the boys saw (when you live with boys and come home soaked, they are not, largely, full of sympathy).
So then I dried my hair back to some sort of normality, caught the end of neighbours, and then had a phone call from a friend, which was nice. Then I had a barth!!!!!!
It was the best thing ever. I've been reluctant to have one in halls (don't fear, I have showered instead. I'm not that stinky) because the walls don't reach the ceiling. However, today, while miss K and I discussed it, we alighted on the plan of wearing a (i)bikini(/i) in the bath.
So simple, but yet so ingenious. Because I am no prude, but i would never live it down if one of the boys caught me in the buff. It's bad enough being the nympho who broke her bed.
So yes, the barth was delicious. Funny shape though, long and thin. I'm used to a corner bath at home. But beggars can't be choosers, and it definitely did the job. I read fear of flying by erica jong while I was in there. I just wallowed for 50 beautiful minutes. I must check my thesaurus for an alternative to exquisite. Mr Boy says it makes him feel like a truffle when I use it to describe him...hmm... I'm not sure I would say ethereal was a synonym for exquisite. I may take on board 'charming'. It has quite a quaint feel to it. As if you're in a Jane Austen.
I may well take to using 'flawless' also. I do love words.
Anyway... oh yes, yesterday evening. I had my bath, and it was ludicrously hot. I love it when the water's steaming and you can hardly stand it. So that sometimes you have to wave your legs about so you cool off a bit and don't pass out.
Then I exited from the bathroom, and got dressed and hung out with Miss K for a bit. We washed her jeans which had collected a lovely array of stones and grit from walking in the rain, and we dissected her new beau. well, future beau. And then I stuffed my face with cheesey smash and beans, and cracked open a bottle of red.
So I was feeling extremely pleased. Like I was wrapped in a duvet of love and wonderfulness. Then it got even better, as Mr Boy came online and asked if he could come round. !!!
So I said yeah of course, he didn't need permission. And he came over and it was just lovely and chilled. Filled with drink, giggling and kissing (because yesterday I was still on my period, more's the pity). Then he was lying in bed, and I was in his arms, and he said, right, you have four minutes to get ready and come back to me. My arms will miss you.
So I brushed my teeth and took my makeup off, and I sat on the bed and BOOMSH. The bed collapsed. it was the corner that mr Boy was lying in (the legs at the head end just gave way, they've always been rickety). The look on his face was so completely amusing.
So that was my evening. I had the worst night's sleep ever. Which isn't unusual when he stays over. It isn't anything he does, I think it's just been a while since I shared a bed (and when it was, it was in my beautiful double bed at home) so I think I'll have to wait a while to get used to it.
So I went to Miss K's room and we decided that making food was the best option. So I had a four egg (naughty naughty) bacon tomato and cheese omelette. And she had a tray of chips.
Honestly, all we do is eat together. It's pretty yum though.
My bed still smells of him. mmmm.
And that was my lovely evening. :)
I had a wonderful day yesterday. It started off pretty poorly. I had a lie in (good) but then I checked my uni emails and found one saying that I hadn't submitted my assignment. So I had to trekk to college (in the rain, of course) and sort that out.
Plus the day before had been extremely bad. I was in a sort of depressed bubble all day.
Anyway, it gets better from here. Fortunately I managed to get all my reading done in my lecture, which was marv. Then after that me and two mates Miss K and Miss K went shopping. I hit topshop and found the most beautiful pair of shoes.
They're red and leather with a beautiful strap and they have pretty round toes. Exquisite.
Then I had a thorntons chocolate bar (oh yes, sicilien lemon mousse) which is one of the ones which are derived from a posh chocolate and then just stuck together to make a bar. mmm mmmmmm. And I also got pretty knickers. Not from thorntons, from topshop :)
Then we came home. Ag. It was just awful. It rained like no precipitation has ever fallen before. It was like a scene out of the day after tomorrow. it was absolutely horrendous. Miss K (the one i live with) had mascara streaked all down her face, poor thing. And I looked pretty horrendous, with my hair blown back in a strange wet matted beehive.
We sang bohemian rhapsody very poorly and incorrectly to cheer our spirits. Then we had to dash in to our rooms before the boys saw (when you live with boys and come home soaked, they are not, largely, full of sympathy).
So then I dried my hair back to some sort of normality, caught the end of neighbours, and then had a phone call from a friend, which was nice. Then I had a barth!!!!!!
It was the best thing ever. I've been reluctant to have one in halls (don't fear, I have showered instead. I'm not that stinky) because the walls don't reach the ceiling. However, today, while miss K and I discussed it, we alighted on the plan of wearing a (i)bikini(/i) in the bath.
So simple, but yet so ingenious. Because I am no prude, but i would never live it down if one of the boys caught me in the buff. It's bad enough being the nympho who broke her bed.
So yes, the barth was delicious. Funny shape though, long and thin. I'm used to a corner bath at home. But beggars can't be choosers, and it definitely did the job. I read fear of flying by erica jong while I was in there. I just wallowed for 50 beautiful minutes. I must check my thesaurus for an alternative to exquisite. Mr Boy says it makes him feel like a truffle when I use it to describe him...hmm... I'm not sure I would say ethereal was a synonym for exquisite. I may take on board 'charming'. It has quite a quaint feel to it. As if you're in a Jane Austen.
I may well take to using 'flawless' also. I do love words.
Anyway... oh yes, yesterday evening. I had my bath, and it was ludicrously hot. I love it when the water's steaming and you can hardly stand it. So that sometimes you have to wave your legs about so you cool off a bit and don't pass out.
Then I exited from the bathroom, and got dressed and hung out with Miss K for a bit. We washed her jeans which had collected a lovely array of stones and grit from walking in the rain, and we dissected her new beau. well, future beau. And then I stuffed my face with cheesey smash and beans, and cracked open a bottle of red.
So I was feeling extremely pleased. Like I was wrapped in a duvet of love and wonderfulness. Then it got even better, as Mr Boy came online and asked if he could come round. !!!
So I said yeah of course, he didn't need permission. And he came over and it was just lovely and chilled. Filled with drink, giggling and kissing (because yesterday I was still on my period, more's the pity). Then he was lying in bed, and I was in his arms, and he said, right, you have four minutes to get ready and come back to me. My arms will miss you.
So I brushed my teeth and took my makeup off, and I sat on the bed and BOOMSH. The bed collapsed. it was the corner that mr Boy was lying in (the legs at the head end just gave way, they've always been rickety). The look on his face was so completely amusing.
So that was my evening. I had the worst night's sleep ever. Which isn't unusual when he stays over. It isn't anything he does, I think it's just been a while since I shared a bed (and when it was, it was in my beautiful double bed at home) so I think I'll have to wait a while to get used to it.
So I went to Miss K's room and we decided that making food was the best option. So I had a four egg (naughty naughty) bacon tomato and cheese omelette. And she had a tray of chips.
Honestly, all we do is eat together. It's pretty yum though.
My bed still smells of him. mmmm.
And that was my lovely evening. :)
Friday, November 30, 2007
I miss my best friend so much. Shes so lovely. And I loathe that i never realised how similar we are, before. We met in high school in about year 8, and we've grown up together, but not only that, we've grown together really. like, intertwined. EVen though we don't dress the same or necessariy like the same music, all the important things are in sync. We love each other and i miss her so much!!!! I spoke to her tonight on an instant messaging thing, and I really really want her to be here right now. I want to be drinking cosmopolitans with her, all dressed up in a pretentious bar in london.
God. Uni is amazing, but I'm not really that close with my mates yet. It's still a bit... like, explain what you mean sort of friendship, not like, thinking the same thing simulaeously friendship.
And as my housemate Mr R pointed out so very kindly, me and my boyfriend are more like fuckbuddies.
Thankyou so much Mr R.
I suppose I just miss being extremely close with someone. I miss my best friend.
God. Uni is amazing, but I'm not really that close with my mates yet. It's still a bit... like, explain what you mean sort of friendship, not like, thinking the same thing simulaeously friendship.
And as my housemate Mr R pointed out so very kindly, me and my boyfriend are more like fuckbuddies.
Thankyou so much Mr R.
I suppose I just miss being extremely close with someone. I miss my best friend.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
So, as of yesterday, I am the girlfriend of Mr Boy. Yes, that's right, after everything he said about probably not being ready for a relationship for a very long time, well, apparently he was just scared.
!!!!!
So now he's my boyfriend!!
Although conversely my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend today...so not all is well in the land of love.
Also, when do I tell her that I've recently just got with someone when she's broken hearted?
Men can be bastards. I suppose that's what distance will do to a relationship though.
My poor poor Miss B.
I'm so so tired. But I can't go to bed until my photos have finished uploading onto facebook. Bastard upload thinger.
I went shopping for the first time the other day - my it was complicated! Food shopping is nothing at all like clothes shopping. Absolutely knackering. And some things are so difficult to find! For example, noodles, which come from asia, are with pasta - clearly an italian food product. Goodness me.
I like having a boyfriend. I don't just mean having one in general, I mean, specifically, I'm glad that Mr Boy is my boyfriend. Relationships are scary, but I do feel more secure now. Less bothered when he doesn't reply to a text or whatever. And he said he wrote me a letter. So hopefully it's full of nice and charming things.
Ooh, the upload has finished. And I'm not certain that sex and the city will be ready to stream any time soon... So perhaps it's time to retire to bedfordshire, yars?
!!!!!
So now he's my boyfriend!!
Although conversely my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend today...so not all is well in the land of love.
Also, when do I tell her that I've recently just got with someone when she's broken hearted?
Men can be bastards. I suppose that's what distance will do to a relationship though.
My poor poor Miss B.
I'm so so tired. But I can't go to bed until my photos have finished uploading onto facebook. Bastard upload thinger.
I went shopping for the first time the other day - my it was complicated! Food shopping is nothing at all like clothes shopping. Absolutely knackering. And some things are so difficult to find! For example, noodles, which come from asia, are with pasta - clearly an italian food product. Goodness me.
I like having a boyfriend. I don't just mean having one in general, I mean, specifically, I'm glad that Mr Boy is my boyfriend. Relationships are scary, but I do feel more secure now. Less bothered when he doesn't reply to a text or whatever. And he said he wrote me a letter. So hopefully it's full of nice and charming things.
Ooh, the upload has finished. And I'm not certain that sex and the city will be ready to stream any time soon... So perhaps it's time to retire to bedfordshire, yars?
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Things are no longer well on the boy front. Hmm... that lasted a long time. This is really the sort of thing I'd prefer to write in my journal, but my friend's popping in and out of my room and I think it looks a bit strange to be writing things down. So I've settled for typing instead.
Plus this way I can paste what the boy wrote instead of copying it out. So, we're talking on instant messenger, and everything was fine. Then all of a sudden a big pause. Then...
i am not really here sorry am having an upsetting conversation
it's with miss R. hence why upsetting. have i talked about Miss R?
The answer to that question is yes. He has talked about Miss R. He hasn't said alot, but what he has said basically amounts to, she's the love of his life, and hurt him an incredible amount and he's not over her.
That's a lovely thing to hear him talking about. Considering I slept with him last week. Not even a week actually. Today's Sunday, which makes it 3 days.
Nice.
I understand if he has issues with her. I dunno, I just with I knew all of it or none of it, you know? Maybe he's just trying to spare me some hurt. I don't know.
I can't blame him either because I knew what I was getting into when I got involved with him. He completely prepared me for all of this. Well, not completely, but he said it wouldn't be easy and he's not ready for alot of things.
I don't know, I do really like him. And I think he still likes me. It just sort of feels like she casts this enormously huge shadow and I can't get out from underneath it. God, I'm totally Miss Rebound. How awful.
Oh well, I suppose it has to be someone. And I do like him, and I am enjoying his company. Maybe being his rebound isn't such a terrible thing? Would Germaine Greer shoot me for saying that? Am I a disgrace to the post feminist female?
Honestly, it's such a myriad quagmire. I feel like I'm getting quite bogged down in over thinking.
My friend K logged on to facebook and looked up 'Miss R; and we looked at her photos, and I'm pleased to report that while not hideously unfortunate looking, she's not the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, which shouldn't make me feel better, but obviously does. I'm not that big a person.
So... who knows where this is taking me. Maybe mr boy will decide that he can't handle it. I think I'll just give him space and let him know I'm here if he wants me.
Over and out.
Plus this way I can paste what the boy wrote instead of copying it out. So, we're talking on instant messenger, and everything was fine. Then all of a sudden a big pause. Then...
i am not really here sorry am having an upsetting conversation
it's with miss R. hence why upsetting. have i talked about Miss R?
The answer to that question is yes. He has talked about Miss R. He hasn't said alot, but what he has said basically amounts to, she's the love of his life, and hurt him an incredible amount and he's not over her.
That's a lovely thing to hear him talking about. Considering I slept with him last week. Not even a week actually. Today's Sunday, which makes it 3 days.
Nice.
I understand if he has issues with her. I dunno, I just with I knew all of it or none of it, you know? Maybe he's just trying to spare me some hurt. I don't know.
I can't blame him either because I knew what I was getting into when I got involved with him. He completely prepared me for all of this. Well, not completely, but he said it wouldn't be easy and he's not ready for alot of things.
I don't know, I do really like him. And I think he still likes me. It just sort of feels like she casts this enormously huge shadow and I can't get out from underneath it. God, I'm totally Miss Rebound. How awful.
Oh well, I suppose it has to be someone. And I do like him, and I am enjoying his company. Maybe being his rebound isn't such a terrible thing? Would Germaine Greer shoot me for saying that? Am I a disgrace to the post feminist female?
Honestly, it's such a myriad quagmire. I feel like I'm getting quite bogged down in over thinking.
My friend K logged on to facebook and looked up 'Miss R; and we looked at her photos, and I'm pleased to report that while not hideously unfortunate looking, she's not the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, which shouldn't make me feel better, but obviously does. I'm not that big a person.
So... who knows where this is taking me. Maybe mr boy will decide that he can't handle it. I think I'll just give him space and let him know I'm here if he wants me.
Over and out.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Again I am happy on the boy front. Me and mr boy slept together! And I get the impression from him that that means commitment, so... that has to be a good thing. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.
I don't think I would want it to be much more intense at this point - we see each other a couple of times a week, maybe 3. He often asks what I want from him. I never know how to answer that question. How do you tell someone what you want from them? All I want to do is spend time with him. It isn't a business transaction.
I don't know why he asks me things like that.
I like the way he looks at me.
I'm smiling a little smile.
I don't think I would want it to be much more intense at this point - we see each other a couple of times a week, maybe 3. He often asks what I want from him. I never know how to answer that question. How do you tell someone what you want from them? All I want to do is spend time with him. It isn't a business transaction.
I don't know why he asks me things like that.
I like the way he looks at me.
I'm smiling a little smile.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
ARghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooooooo happy!!!!!!! I stayed at boy's house yesterday and we're so so good!! I mean, not official obv, but everything's just really really good and I'm happy. We had yummy naked time. hurrah!! I think we understand each other more now. Had a big chat. We were going to stay holed up in his room for the whole day but he had to take his dickhead flatmate to hospital.
and he bought me a toothbrush to keep at his!!! :D and he didn't want me to leave but he had to go. And he kept saying I was beautiful and sexy.
and he didn't believe the bollocks his housemates told him which is good. because i do NOT in any way depend on him. It's just nice to hang out with him that's all.
hurray hurrah.
and now i get to read the guardian weekend which now features STEVEN FRY!!!!!!
and he bought me a toothbrush to keep at his!!! :D and he didn't want me to leave but he had to go. And he kept saying I was beautiful and sexy.
and he didn't believe the bollocks his housemates told him which is good. because i do NOT in any way depend on him. It's just nice to hang out with him that's all.
hurray hurrah.
and now i get to read the guardian weekend which now features STEVEN FRY!!!!!!
Friday, November 02, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I'm so so happy. AGAIN. I awoke this morning, after an extra hour in bed - thankyou daylight savings - to a lovely text from a boy that I now consider to be mine. He's so lovely. He may not text alot, but when he does it is with precision timing and wonderful content. Oh hurrah for boys!!
Having said that, yesterday I was witness to something which reminded me how hard relationships can be. I was at my friend's house, and her boyfriend's brother came to stay, and after a day of being there, he decided he was bored and was constantly complaining and saying everything was shit. So he picked a fight, and upset my friend. So then everyone got cross and he left and went home.
Then my friend and her boyfriend just sort of...melted. It wasn't nice to watch. I don't like confrontation and the whole thing made me very uneasy. But within about 20 minutes they were fine again. It was a bit scary though.
It made me remember that there is a serious side to relationships too, not just being happy when you get a nice text, no matter how nice a feeling that is.
Well, nevermind, I'm sure it will be a long time before mr boy and I get to that stage (if we ever do), so for now I will endeavour to enjoy the newness of it.
Having said that, yesterday I was witness to something which reminded me how hard relationships can be. I was at my friend's house, and her boyfriend's brother came to stay, and after a day of being there, he decided he was bored and was constantly complaining and saying everything was shit. So he picked a fight, and upset my friend. So then everyone got cross and he left and went home.
Then my friend and her boyfriend just sort of...melted. It wasn't nice to watch. I don't like confrontation and the whole thing made me very uneasy. But within about 20 minutes they were fine again. It was a bit scary though.
It made me remember that there is a serious side to relationships too, not just being happy when you get a nice text, no matter how nice a feeling that is.
Well, nevermind, I'm sure it will be a long time before mr boy and I get to that stage (if we ever do), so for now I will endeavour to enjoy the newness of it.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
oh my god oh my god he likes me he likes me!!!
I was at his house last night and he told me an american girl had hit on him, and even though she was quite fit and had a sexy accent he said he didn't want to because he was sort of involved with someone. I'M SOMEONE!!!! :D:D:D:D
I'm sooooooooooo happy!!! And he told me I'm beautiful. And he asked me if I'd sleep with him - it isn't how it sounds, we just got on to the topic - and he said he wouldn't sleep with me at this stage in our relationship. He said we'd have to be boyfriend/girlfriend before he would. So he's definitely thinking about it.
So so so excellent. I'm a very happy girl.
And he knew that I was a bit worried about K. I was a bit drunk at the time, so I can't quite remember how he worded it, but he asked me if I'd been jealous about her. (I think). And I said I was but not because I thought he liked her, because I didn't get why he was going on about her.
I really really like him. And I think he really really likes me too. Happy happy. Didn't want to leave this afternoon but I have a date with a friend, so...
Actually there's quite alot more to say boy-wise. Mr ex told me he's still in love with me, and feels stronger than he did when we were together. Which is a bit shit really. We thrashed it out on the internet the other night for about 3 hours. He's idiolised our relationship in his head, he thinks we were perfect. And we blatantly weren't, we were just an ordinary couple. He thinks we were in love, but I don't think we were. We were just infatuated. I made the mistake of telling him that and he said "That really hurts". I couldn't lead him on though. It was just awful.
So, unsurprisingly we're no longer going to meet up on his birthday/bonfire night.
Definitely for the best.
Hurrah for the Boy!!!
I was at his house last night and he told me an american girl had hit on him, and even though she was quite fit and had a sexy accent he said he didn't want to because he was sort of involved with someone. I'M SOMEONE!!!! :D:D:D:D
I'm sooooooooooo happy!!! And he told me I'm beautiful. And he asked me if I'd sleep with him - it isn't how it sounds, we just got on to the topic - and he said he wouldn't sleep with me at this stage in our relationship. He said we'd have to be boyfriend/girlfriend before he would. So he's definitely thinking about it.
So so so excellent. I'm a very happy girl.
And he knew that I was a bit worried about K. I was a bit drunk at the time, so I can't quite remember how he worded it, but he asked me if I'd been jealous about her. (I think). And I said I was but not because I thought he liked her, because I didn't get why he was going on about her.
I really really like him. And I think he really really likes me too. Happy happy. Didn't want to leave this afternoon but I have a date with a friend, so...
Actually there's quite alot more to say boy-wise. Mr ex told me he's still in love with me, and feels stronger than he did when we were together. Which is a bit shit really. We thrashed it out on the internet the other night for about 3 hours. He's idiolised our relationship in his head, he thinks we were perfect. And we blatantly weren't, we were just an ordinary couple. He thinks we were in love, but I don't think we were. We were just infatuated. I made the mistake of telling him that and he said "That really hurts". I couldn't lead him on though. It was just awful.
So, unsurprisingly we're no longer going to meet up on his birthday/bonfire night.
Definitely for the best.
Hurrah for the Boy!!!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Oh god. Whatever I've ever said about Boy liking me, should just be ignored from now on. I am clearly a horrendous judge of character. All he has gone on about today is my friend K. We're all sort of, a group of friends, and I don't seriously think he has feelings for her. But If I were a guy, and I was talking to a girl I really like and who I knew really liked me, I'm positive that I wouldn't talk to her about how much I missed another girl.
Although he did seem concerned when I said I was terrible on msn (because my ex has been hassling me, and only just finally cottoned on today that we are NOT getting back together). and he was asking if I have feelings for him still. Although maybe he was just doing the concerned friend thing, and it wasn't him being jealous.
Also, he said to me 'are you coming at mine tomorrow night' which suggests to me that he only cares about one thing. Which is fair enough, but I didn't think we were like that.
But I do really like him, so I suppose I'll just have to put up with it. Take what I can get.
Although he did seem concerned when I said I was terrible on msn (because my ex has been hassling me, and only just finally cottoned on today that we are NOT getting back together). and he was asking if I have feelings for him still. Although maybe he was just doing the concerned friend thing, and it wasn't him being jealous.
Also, he said to me 'are you coming at mine tomorrow night' which suggests to me that he only cares about one thing. Which is fair enough, but I didn't think we were like that.
But I do really like him, so I suppose I'll just have to put up with it. Take what I can get.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
oh my god oh my god. boys are so so so lovely.
so confusing. but so lovely.
i abandoned this blog a while back because it's quite awful. however, now i have mentionitis of mr boy(a new one, not the one previously mentioned) and i have had to stop talking about him because my friends are going to kill me soon.
so i'm going to write on here about it.
he's soooooooooo lovely! i'm not sure what we are yet. it's definately some sort of relationship, but he says he's not my boyfriend. hmmm. is that a huge problem? i've only known him about 3 weeks though, so i dunno. maybe i'm just too obsessed.
I hate this stage of a relationship. The part just before you know where you stand. Maybe it's just me who goes through this phase.
Actually, boys are not lovely at all. Boys are pretty shit. My friend's boy has cheated on her 3 times that I know of, and she still goes back to him, and is completely happy to leave him at home while she's at uni. See, this is what men do to girls. They make them absolutely crazy - they do things that they would never usually think were normal.
My boy - well, let's just call him mine - keeps telling me that he'll end up hurting me so i shouldn't get involved, but he's so lovely, and even if that's true, you can't just turn off your feelings can you? Well I know I can't. Plus, I suppose most people think they can change a person as well.
It's so bizarre. I'm talking to Chris my ex about mr boy, my possible future. Scary business, this friends post relationship thing.
I think he does really like me. mr boy, not Chris.
OK.
Reasons that suggest he really likes me:
he danced with me even though he hates dancing
he doesn't want to have sex because it complicates things
but he does want to have sex
he tells me I'm beautiful
he tells me I'm sexy
he kisses my head
he strokes me
he cuddles me and kisses my neck and my collarbone
he feels safe with me
he thinks i look nice without makeup on
he worries about me talking to randomers
he doesn't let me walk home alone
it didn't scare him when he thought i was referring to him as my boyfriend
he says we're good together
he referred to us as 'us'
he wants me to be honest with him about how i feel
he referred to us as a relationship
Reasons that suggest he's not arsed:
he's said he's never got over rosie
he takes ages to text back
i don't see him alot
he didn't kiss me the other night
i'm not clear on where we stand with each other
i go to his more than he comes here
now, what i'm trying to work out, is whether the pro list is only bigger because i want it to be... but i can't think of that many reasons. Also, I read somewhere that the human brain has evolved to look for the negatives so we can like, be prepared, and then kill it. So, hopefully it's just my mind that is obsessed with the negative side of things for no reason.
feel so much better for making that list.
i wish i was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
so confusing. but so lovely.
i abandoned this blog a while back because it's quite awful. however, now i have mentionitis of mr boy(a new one, not the one previously mentioned) and i have had to stop talking about him because my friends are going to kill me soon.
so i'm going to write on here about it.
he's soooooooooo lovely! i'm not sure what we are yet. it's definately some sort of relationship, but he says he's not my boyfriend. hmmm. is that a huge problem? i've only known him about 3 weeks though, so i dunno. maybe i'm just too obsessed.
I hate this stage of a relationship. The part just before you know where you stand. Maybe it's just me who goes through this phase.
Actually, boys are not lovely at all. Boys are pretty shit. My friend's boy has cheated on her 3 times that I know of, and she still goes back to him, and is completely happy to leave him at home while she's at uni. See, this is what men do to girls. They make them absolutely crazy - they do things that they would never usually think were normal.
My boy - well, let's just call him mine - keeps telling me that he'll end up hurting me so i shouldn't get involved, but he's so lovely, and even if that's true, you can't just turn off your feelings can you? Well I know I can't. Plus, I suppose most people think they can change a person as well.
It's so bizarre. I'm talking to Chris my ex about mr boy, my possible future. Scary business, this friends post relationship thing.
I think he does really like me. mr boy, not Chris.
OK.
Reasons that suggest he really likes me:
he danced with me even though he hates dancing
he doesn't want to have sex because it complicates things
but he does want to have sex
he tells me I'm beautiful
he tells me I'm sexy
he kisses my head
he strokes me
he cuddles me and kisses my neck and my collarbone
he feels safe with me
he thinks i look nice without makeup on
he worries about me talking to randomers
he doesn't let me walk home alone
it didn't scare him when he thought i was referring to him as my boyfriend
he says we're good together
he referred to us as 'us'
he wants me to be honest with him about how i feel
he referred to us as a relationship
Reasons that suggest he's not arsed:
he's said he's never got over rosie
he takes ages to text back
i don't see him alot
he didn't kiss me the other night
i'm not clear on where we stand with each other
i go to his more than he comes here
now, what i'm trying to work out, is whether the pro list is only bigger because i want it to be... but i can't think of that many reasons. Also, I read somewhere that the human brain has evolved to look for the negatives so we can like, be prepared, and then kill it. So, hopefully it's just my mind that is obsessed with the negative side of things for no reason.
feel so much better for making that list.
i wish i was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
