confused

I have a stupid assignment in for tomorrow. I've written it, mostly. But I'll have to cut out a lot of words.
I don't feel as terrible as I thought I might, about the breakup. I think it's because it happened already. I feel more mixed and confused than upset. And I don't think that's even because of Him. I think it's a combination of stuff. I don't know. My friend keeps going on at me to go to the doctors or to a counsellor at uni.
I sort of think I might. I'm so tired of feeling like my head has been crammed full of wet, swirling air. And no one ever understands how I feel. Although it's difficult to tell whether this is due to my own inarticulation, or because no one else feels like this.
Either way, I really really fancy being stuffed full of pills right now. I just want it to go away.
I'm lying in bed watching Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe on youtube. He's so fantastic. I can't get enough of him. So so funny. And it blocks out all the shit that's in my head, which is really appreciated. Especially at 2am.
What a God-like genius he truly is. Speaking of God,
Richard Dawkins is just fantastic. Every person with a brain should have a book owned by him on their bookshelf.
I'm quite tired. Hopefully sleep will come to me soon. And I won't wake up dreaming of the Boy, and feeling sick from it.
Hopefully things will seem brighter tomorrow. And I'll be able to not be a confused mess of conflicting hormones and emotions. Maybe tomorrow I'll go a whole day without having to explain myself 8 times because my thoughts are so abstract.