I'm not exactly sure how to update today, but I feel compelled to do so. My hands feel a very long way from my body, which is making my arms seem millions of miles long. It's peculiar. But I always try to retain the feeling for as long as possible when it happens.
Things that I have done/have happened this month:
it became March
became alot more obsessed with the internet than I already was; twitter, dailybooth, youtube etc
my friend was on the verge of killing himself and told me I didn't care
bought my father's birthday present
called the samaritans
cooked from scratch
invested in the first seasons of nip/tuck and six feet under, no less
not dressed for four days straight
not eaten for five days straight
hurt myself physically
hurt someone else emotionally
done some work (!)
failed an exam
lost one legwarmer in the centre of town somewhere

I'm really not sure where this list is getting me. There are alot of beautiful people on youtube, like mememolly and catrific. But thankfully there are ugly people also. Probably shouldn't name those.
But beautiful people can be quite demoralising. Though perhaps their videos make up for that by being moralising. Moralising?
I really want to eat something. I want to be a better person and not have to have another counselling session. I want to do well in life and not have to be alive when the 12th April comes around. I don't want to have to work all through Easter because I'm skint, and I don't want to be craving junk food right now.
I want to be better at yoga, and have more patience.
I would really really love to like myself. And it would be pretty fantastic if someone loved me.
Whinge moan whinge.
This is going nowhere.